


Orange Wednesday

by cutielemon07



Series: What Really Happened at 10 Downing Street [4]
Category: Political RPF, Political RPF - 20th-21st c., Political RPF - UK 20th-21st c.
Genre: Bruno Mars - Freeform, Entirely fictional, Gen, Insults, Kinder Eggs, Kung fu panda 2, Nick Clegg is a man child, Tesco extra, michael Moore - Freeform, remember Orange Wednesdays?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-23
Updated: 2016-10-23
Packaged: 2018-08-23 05:01:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8314840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cutielemon07/pseuds/cutielemon07
Summary: David Cameron and Nick Clegg go to see a movie on Orange Wednesdays. Kung Fu Panda 2.





	

David Cameron and Nick Clegg were sitting in David’s office playing catch with a baseball. David caught the baseball and fiddled with it, twirling it in his fingers.

"I feel like having a lazy day today-like that singer what’s his name?" David asked.

"That narrows it down. I don’t know who you mean." Nick said.

"You know. He’s on drugs." David shrugged and tossed the ball back to Nick, who caught it. 

"Plenty of singers are on drugs Dave." Nick tossed the ball to David.

"Come on Clegg, He wants to marry you and catch a grenade for you because he loves you just the way you are." David tossed the ball upwards and caught it.

"Bruno Mars?" Nick shrugged.

"That’s the one!" David pointed at Nick excitedly, the ball still in his hand.

"Well, what about Bruno Mars?" Nick asked, twirling in his office chair.

"Nothing. I just wanna have a lazy day." David began throwing the ball from one hand into the other.

"Yup. I could also do with a day off." Nick agreed. "I wanna see the new Michael Moore Documentary!" He stood up excitedly.

"Fine, I’ll take you in a few..." David paused. "That’s the one that’s out just for Orange Wednesday right?" 

"Yup!" Nick nodded. 

"And that’s today, right?" David asked.

"Two for two-you're on a roll!" Nick exclaimed. "You wanna come with? I got a code from Orange; you can get in for free!" 

"I’d get in free anyway." David muttered under his breath.

"What?" Nick asked.

"I said ‘Why not? Today can be my lazy day’." David lied. 

* * *

Once the two had left 10 Downing Street-in disguise, of course-Nick began skipping through the streets of London singing a song to himself.

"We’re going to the cinema, cinema, cinema. We’re going to the cinema, to see Kung Fu Panda 2!"

"Hold on, What?!" David grunted. "No! What happened to Michael Moore?"

"I wanna see Kung Fu Panda 2. It’ll be ace!" Nick bounced up and down on the balls of his feet.

"Why?" David asked after a few seconds silence.

"Seth Rogen, Jack Black, Lucy Liu, Dustin Hoffman. Are you serious?!" Nick looked like he was close to exploding.

"Clegg! The _one_ time I go and see a movie with you and it’s a kiddie one. Fine. Try and find the quickest and most direct route to the cinema. How anyone can find anything here in London is beyond me."

"Okay. Google Maps." Nick muttered, fiddling with his phone.

"Be quick about it, as the next showing starts at quarter past six tonight." David shook his head.

"We’d better step on it. It’s already twenty five past five."

There’s no way in hell that I’m paying six pounds for a small popcorn in a cinema. We’re stopping this Tesco Extra." David pointed to the nearby Tesco Extra. "Did you bring a backpack or something?" He asked.

"I brought something even better than a backpack." Nick giggled.

David looked at Nick in suspicion. "Okay..."

"So which do you want?" Nick asked, holding a tote bag in one hand and a bum-bag in the other. "The bum-bag? Or the tote bag?

David clenched his jaw and looked at Nick in disdain. "Can you imagine the Prime Minister walking into a cinema wearing a suit with a bum-bag on or carrying a tote bag?"

Nick paused to gather his thoughts. David looked on at him impatiently.

"Yeah. I want a Wispa, a Kinder Egg and some Skittles." Nick named each of the items as he grabbed them from the shelf. "You’re paying... Right?" He asked uncertainly.

"Yeah." David said with a sigh.

"Then that’s what I want." Nick smiled innocently at David. "What are you getting?" 

"Pork scratchings and some Starburst." 

"Nice." Nick walked over to the clerk and David followed. "Hey. I'm the Deputy Prime Minister. That's the Prime Minister himself!"

"Shut up, Clegg!" David hissed. 

"Okayyyy." Nick huffed like a small child or a bratty teenager.

"Sorry about him." David said, taking out some money as the clerk scanned the items. "He's worked up over that... Karate Koala or something." 

"Yes, I understand." The clerk replied. "My nephew is the same. Then again, my nephew isn't the Deputy Prime Minister." 

" _I'm_ the Deputy Prime Minister." Nick said smugly as David handed over the money.

"Clegg, will you please-" David began.

"Come ooooonnnn." Nick whined. "Put the snacks in the tote bag and let's go!"

"I'm _not_ using a bloody tote bag, Clegg." David said.

"Okay, use the bum-bag!" Nick said brightly.

"Fine." David huffed slightly. "I'll use the bum-bag." He grabbed the sweets and violently forced them into the bum-bag before clipping it on. 

"Don't worry about the tickets, Dave. I bought those on my smartphone already. All we have to do is turn up and collect them and watch the movie. Hey, do you think they'll let us in early?" Nick was bouncing around, full of energy around David. 

"Why would they do _that_?" David asked sourly.

"Because we're the Prime Ministers!" Nick giggled. 

David stopped in his tracks. "No. Correction. _I_ am the Prime Minister. Deputy Prime Minister is a vanity title for you because my party took your seats." 

"Well..." Nick shrugged. "The cinema people don't know that." 

" _Everyone_ knows that, Clegg." David said. 

* * *

Nick was quiet the rest of the way to the cinema. He only talked to the cashiers selling the tickets and asked for some popcorn. He was quiet in the theatre until the adverts started. He leaned over to David-who was quietly eating his pork scratchings-and whispered giddily into his ear. 

"I spy with my little eye, something shining and gleaming in the lights!"

"Clegg, does this have any relevance to anything?" David asked.

"That bald guy!" Nick shouted as loudly as he could and pointed at the man in front, who was indeed, follicly challenged. 

"Clegg! Shut up!" David grabbed Nick's arm as the guy turned around. "I am _so_ sorry, sir. So sorry. My Deputy Prime Minister can't control his mouth. He's just... He's Nick Clegg. I'm sorry."

"What?" Nick asked innocently. 

"That's offensive, Clegg. You didn't want me to raise university fees because it was offensive."

"So?" Nick asked.

"Shut up and watch the damn film, Clegg." David sighed and slunk back into his cinema seat. 


End file.
